I am deep in prayer this morning.
There are so many things to do. So many things to still smooth out.
It’s funny. I’m sure that my ex-husband thinks that he has me in a tizzy about his attempt to reduce child support, but in reality that it is just another thing on my list. I’ve always taken care of my children. He’s always done everything that he can to screw things up for my children. If he died today and there was no more child support, we would be fine. For him, money is all-powerful. If he had died ten years ago, we would have been fine. 
He won’t let go of me. In reality, everything that he does is about me, not the children. He is so consumed with his hatred for me that it colors his world.
But enough about him.
As I was saying, there are things that still need to be worked out regarding this move. Rather than drowning in a feeling of being overwhelmed, I pray.
God is a lot bigger than me. And He certainly has far more resources than I. Best to let Him take the wheel.
Today:
~call attorney
~take John to meeting
~call Rena
~gather the books/DVDs/CDs that we will be taking with us
~eat a snickerdoodle (my favorite cookie, by the way)
The Secret teaches that what we think about is what we attract.
The past ten years of my life have proved that to be true. I have really done myself and my children a disservice. All of these years I have prayed to just get by.
Dear God, please provide enough money for all the bills to be covered this month.
I should have been praying big. I know this because my prayers were answered. We did manage. There always was enough. Granted, there were many times when we barely scraped by, but we scraped by. And that was what I had asked for in prayer. That was what I received.
I’m praying big now.
We’re having to make some adjustments to our plans. I decided to relax, think positively and allow God to take care of things - I just did the footwork.
Today’s Big Issue: Resolved
The person that I spoke to regarding this issue was extremely friendly, helpful and encouraging.
Tomorrow I deal with yet another Big Issue. I’m not fretting. I’ll do the footwork and let God work His magic.
Image first uploaded by itodyaso.files.wordpress.com
A woman behind me was on the phone discussing God. She referred to Him as ‘the Lord’ throughout her conversation. And so He is. She was discussing her brother’s need to get into the Word. I realized that I once knew the God that she was speaking of: the God that is sought. In my life, God has evolved. Or I suppose that I am the one who has evolved. He is no longer above and beyond or even ‘in my heart’. He is me. He is in me. Not just my heart, but all of me. My toes, my fingernails, my crooked spine. I no longer search for Him in a book written long ago, but I unfold Him within myself.
It’s time to buckle down and write. It has been a few days. I’ve not been myself, as I’ve mentioned before. The time has come to buckle down and buck up, little buttercup! Life is good. God is good. And writing makes me feel sooooooo good! Here I go…
I just asked my Magic 8 Ball if there is a God and the reply was “most likely”.
There you have it, folks!
Today, in Blue Springs, a four year old boy was run over by a Rent-a-Center truck and killed.
I know this because the news came on the television. I normally do not have the TV set to a news station for this very reason: I don’t want to watch it. It is heartbreaking and infuriating.
Stories such as this always grab my attention and leave me without any sense of balance for a time. And as always, I thank God that my boy was spared. Again, I thank God. And I pray that He wraps His arms around the mother of the four year old boy, comforting her as only He can. I pray that she is open to His comfort, if not now, then soon. I have been as close to the grief that she is feeling as one can be without having actually lost a child. For an hour on the night of July 31/August 1, 2004, I lived without knowing if my son was dead or alive.
James spent the night again last night. It is so nice to see the boys so often once again. His delight at the cinnamon rolls that I made for breakfast was priceless.
I am truly blessed. Chris had sworn when the boys were toddlers that he would make sure they grew to hate me. Didn’t work! What Chris failed to keep in mind was that God is far more powerful than Chris and His resources are far more abundant than Chris’.
