I am beginning to see progress. Baby steps, but steps in the right direction.
Until I am working full-time, I will be spending my days writing and submitting.
I began a story for Chicken Soup today.
Tomorrow we will go to LPHS to see if we can FINALLY get Lizzy’s schedule set up.
Kyle and I were at the hospital yesterday. That man means the world to me. Friday we get the results. He will be fine. I won’t allow anything else.
But what to do when you are with someone that you love purely and beyond reason? Someone that you truly want to please. You want to bring joy to his life. He has earned your respect and devotion without demanding it. Defiance has no place here, but still it rears it’s wild head.
It is time to tame the beast. It is time to love and be loved.
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’ re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU… The one who turns to his friends and says, “thats her”….
-Unknown (Website)
found at http://www.boardofwisdom.com/printquote.asp?msgid=31065
This is how I feel.
It really pertains to my love for Kyle. All I’ve ever wanted is to know his thoughts. I fell in love with the way he thinks. He speaks his mind. He offers his knowledge. He says he doesn’t know when he doesn’t know. He reads voraciously. He admires free thinkers. He fascinates me.
found here
Have I mentioned that I can lose months at a time? Seriously. I have no self-discipline. That is another area in which living with Kyle will benefit me. He knows me. He understands me. He realizes that I need structure and he encourages that without being overbearing or intimidating. In fact, he won’t go beyond asking me what I have done in regard to such and such. If my reply is “Uh”, he simply sits quietly and lets it go, knowing that I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I did not rein myself in. But I digress.
Last night I determined for the millionth time not to waste time. That means employing my timers. I went in search of one and found none. That’s sad as Kyle has stocked me up with four or five of the little buggers. Eventually I did locate one. It’s the old one that I bought years ago, not one of the cool new timers that Kyle sent. They are here somewhere. They are!
As of now, according to my timer, I have four more minutes to blog. Then I will do something useful for fifteen minutes. Then I will play for fifteen minutes. Sometimes I work through four or five or six fifteen minute segments in a row. I’m not lazy. I’m just not wired appropriately for this society. Not that I think there is any society which would appreciate the mechanics of my brain, but…
I’m unfocused. Perhaps I should try a different ADD medication. I used something when I was first diagnosed, but it did nothing for me.
Kyle loves me. Kyle appreciates me. But I know that this lack of direction on my part could eat away at his patience with me. I don’t want that to happen. Nor do I want to be molded into somebody that I’m not. That’s the beautiful thing about Kyle. He doesn’t want me to be somebody else either. I have no doubt that he can and will accommodate my love of distraction. Because there will always be a lack of focus on my part. I get lost in books, the Internet, antiquing, writing, and daydreaming for hours at a time. I don’t think that he will have an issue with the writing. But regarding everything else, he may question the wisdom of my choice, but he will not try to deny me my playtime. And for that I am more than willing to work on my attention difficulties. After all, it is not to benefit only our relationship, but it is to benefit me. I don’t want my life to go by without having left pieces of beauty behind. I want my life to be beauty.
I have gone over my fifteen minutes. What a shock.
image first uploaded by softwarespace.blogspot.com
One of my favorite movies is What Dreams May Come. Kyle has never seen it. We will watch it together in a couple of weeks.
The love between the main characters in the movie is deep, enduring, passionate, respecful, tolerant and faithful. Everything that I have always wanted in a relationship. Everything that I have always had with Kyle, but did not claim as my own until last year.
Oh, and woohoo for me! I hunted down the instructions for up/side/downloading a video and then did it all by myself! 
I am so very blessed. I will be spending the rest of my life with my dearest friend.
I was reminded of how great our life together will be when we were discussing the Quran and the Bible today. We will have a lifetime of intense discussions and quiet ponderings.
I’m sleepy right now and wishing that I were with him so that he could read poetry to me.
I found this on Crystal’s (Hannah’s best friend) MySpace page.
I’ve got that boy now.
Would I ever leave him?
Never.
Last night he reassured me over and over again.
Today I received the sweetest promise ring.
I love how he loves me.
