I am deep in prayer this morning.
There are so many things to do. So many things to still smooth out.
It’s funny. I’m sure that my ex-husband thinks that he has me in a tizzy about his attempt to reduce child support, but in reality that it is just another thing on my list. I’ve always taken care of my children. He’s always done everything that he can to screw things up for my children. If he died today and there was no more child support, we would be fine. For him, money is all-powerful. If he had died ten years ago, we would have been fine. 
He won’t let go of me. In reality, everything that he does is about me, not the children. He is so consumed with his hatred for me that it colors his world.
But enough about him.
As I was saying, there are things that still need to be worked out regarding this move. Rather than drowning in a feeling of being overwhelmed, I pray.
God is a lot bigger than me. And He certainly has far more resources than I. Best to let Him take the wheel.
Today:
~call attorney
~take John to meeting
~call Rena
~gather the books/DVDs/CDs that we will be taking with us
~eat a snickerdoodle (my favorite cookie, by the way)
I believe in God.
I believe in His unconditional love and faithfulness.
I believe in His power to see me and my children through anything. Anything.
I believe that He has great things planned for us.
His strength is our own.
image first uploaded by www.photosforsouls.com
(I’m using this image as my laptop’s wallpaper. I think that’s what you call it. :) )
Yesterday Hannah pointed out a cloud. I saw a mushroom cloud formed from the explosion of an atomic bomb. Elizabeth saw Jesus.
A woman behind me was on the phone discussing God. She referred to Him as ‘the Lord’ throughout her conversation. And so He is. She was discussing her brother’s need to get into the Word. I realized that I once knew the God that she was speaking of: the God that is sought. In my life, God has evolved. Or I suppose that I am the one who has evolved. He is no longer above and beyond or even ‘in my heart’. He is me. He is in me. Not just my heart, but all of me. My toes, my fingernails, my crooked spine. I no longer search for Him in a book written long ago, but I unfold Him within myself.
It’s time to buckle down and write. It has been a few days. I’ve not been myself, as I’ve mentioned before. The time has come to buckle down and buck up, little buttercup! Life is good. God is good. And writing makes me feel sooooooo good! Here I go…
I just asked my Magic 8 Ball if there is a God and the reply was “most likely”.
There you have it, folks!
James spent the night again last night. It is so nice to see the boys so often once again. His delight at the cinnamon rolls that I made for breakfast was priceless.
I am truly blessed. Chris had sworn when the boys were toddlers that he would make sure they grew to hate me. Didn’t work! What Chris failed to keep in mind was that God is far more powerful than Chris and His resources are far more abundant than Chris’.
