Almost Well Done

Today was a rather productive day for me. Unfortunately, I cannot say that I accomplished a lot. I accomplished far more than I do on a regular ADD-driven day, but I could have done more. Lists helped today. Tonight I will be using my timers to do some cleaning/sorting/packing. Lists and timers. What more could a girl want?

Baby Steps

Baby steps.

I take things in small measures. I do things in small increments. As long as I continue along with one baby step after another, I do just fine. Otherwise, I get absolutely nothing done.

Today is a very good day. Several baby steps have already been taken and I have plans for at least 4 or 5 more before I go to bed tonight.

Baby steps. Gotta love ‘em.

Me and My ADD

Have I mentioned that I can lose months at a time? Seriously. I have no self-discipline. That is another area in which living with Kyle will benefit me. He knows me. He understands me. He realizes that I need structure and he encourages that without being overbearing or intimidating. In fact, he won’t go beyond asking me what I have done in regard to such and such. If my reply is “Uh”, he simply sits quietly and lets it go, knowing that I know that he knows that I know that he knows that I did not rein myself in. But I digress.

Last night I determined for the millionth time not to waste time. That means employing my timers. I went in search of one and found none. That’s sad as Kyle has stocked me up with four or five of the little buggers. Eventually I did locate one. It’s the old one that I bought years ago, not one of the cool new timers that Kyle sent. They are here somewhere. They are!

As of now, according to my timer, I have four more minutes to blog. Then I will do something useful for fifteen minutes. Then I will play for fifteen minutes. Sometimes I work through four or five or six fifteen minute segments in a row. I’m not lazy. I’m just not wired appropriately for this society. Not that I think there is any society which would appreciate the mechanics of my brain, but…

I’m unfocused. Perhaps I should try a different ADD medication. I used something when I was first diagnosed, but it did nothing for me.

Kyle loves me. Kyle appreciates me. But I know that this lack of direction on my part could eat away at his patience with me. I don’t want that to happen. Nor do I want to be molded into somebody that I’m not. That’s the beautiful thing about Kyle. He doesn’t want me to be somebody else either. I have no doubt that he can and will accommodate my love of distraction. Because there will always be a lack of focus on my part. I get lost in books, the Internet, antiquing, writing, and daydreaming for hours at a time. I don’t think that he will have an issue with the writing. But regarding everything else, he may question the wisdom of my choice, but he will not try to deny me my playtime. And for that I am more than willing to work on my attention difficulties. After all, it is not to benefit only our relationship, but it is to benefit me. I don’t want my life to go by without having left pieces of beauty behind. I want my life to be beauty.

I have gone over my fifteen minutes. What a shock.

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